You Can’t Trap a Fire Phoenix

Rock of Ages – The Review

After just perusing Rotten Tomatoes, the Rock of Ages reviews are not good. So, there’s that. But I know the important question is, “What did I think?” And of course, I would love to tell you.

I am a HUGE fan of the stage production. Rock of Ages is best enjoyed when you know it’s a comedy. You have to say that because some people don’t know. It is also best enjoyed if you are not offended by its vulgarity. I was not/am not, so have always found it all extremely entertaining.


But a little bit about me – I was in high school from 1988 – 1992. The hair-band power ballads were my anthems and boys with long hair and better makeup than I could ever afford were the stuff of my fantasies. Oh, I dabbled in the beginning of what would be alternative rock….Nirvana hit it big right around the time I graduated high school and, let’s face it, they owned the summer of ’92. I also spent about 5 minutes listening to hip-hop, but that was a rebellious thing that didn’t last. I appreciate and love lots of music, but those guitar riffs wrapped around my heart and have been there ever since.

Now that you know a little bit more about me, you can easily see that I would be more “forgiving” of Rock of Ages. I’m not saying it’s bad yet….give me a minute. I’m just saying it would have to really shit on the Sunset Strip for me to hate it. After all of that, the answer is I really liked it. Maybe even loved it. It’s a dumb blonde of a movie….pretty to look at, a few marbles shy of intellectual conversation but hey, you can party with it like nobody’s business! (Did you like my analogy?) If you go in expecting a good-time comedy, with the sing-along songs of the ’80’s, it hits the mark. As a matter of fact, they removed almost all of the vulgar from this PG-13 movie. This is definitely the glossy and sanitized version of this story.

Tom Cruise – I thought he was fantastic. I got distracted by his face a few times (he makes this sort of cat-smelled-something-bad face) but he is really funny. I liked his bit in Tropic Thunder too, so I expected him to bring it.

My secret celebrity crush!

BTW – the movie version is quite a bit different from the stage production in that whole characters are missing and new characters sort of take their place. One character is essentially split into two parts, and others are slightly redefined. I think the stage version plot is better, but wouldn’t have worked for this sanitized movie version. If you really made the stage version into a movie, it would have been rated R and you would have squirmed a little in your seat. Oh well….

That’s my take on Rock of Ages the movie. Take the reviews with a grain of salt but ultimately, if you are interested in seeing it, drink a beer or two before you go in and have a good time making devil horns in the dark theater. \m/

Copyright © 2012 Capturing Average

3 thoughts on “You Can’t Trap a Fire Phoenix

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